Things I Don’t Understand About the British, Part 4

Let’s talk about snacks. You’ve got your normal potato chips (crisps, as they are called here), a variety of salted, roasted nuts, your fruits and vegetables if you want to be healthy, pretzels, popcorn. They have all those things here, but sometimes I wonder what sort of taste buds Brits have.

Jacobs Twiglets Snacks 6X24gFor example, Twiglets. These look like innocuous little pretzel sticks unless you peer closely at the packaging. They’re actually pretzel sticks flavored with Marmite. You know, Marmite? The yeast-based, sticky, foul smelling pasty spread people put on bread, crackers, toast? It’s a by-product of beer brewing and hoo-wee is it nasty. The Marmite slogan is “Love it or hate it” and I think you can figure out where I stand. But hey, what British child doesn’t want to snack on that?

Or how about what we call potato chips and Brits call crisps. How can it go wrong? Oh, let me count the ways. There are prawn flavored crisps (like Marmite, this flavor crisp is extremely odorous), roast chicken flavored crisps, bacon flavor, flamed-grilled steak flavor, chargrilled chicken flavor, pickled onion flavor (pickled onion!), something called “bacon rashers snacks” (a bacon flavor maize, rice and soy snack–huh?), roast beef flavor crisps, and worcester sauce flavor crisps. Oh, but I forgot the Peking spare rib flavor oriental crackers. And the oven roast chicken and thyme crisps, a slight variation on the regular “roast chicken” flavor crisps. But how could I forget the hoisin duck flavor crisps?

Before I am completely grossed out, two more winners: goat cheese and chili crisps and cumberland sausage and wholegrain mustard crisps. 

I think I’ve just lost my appetite.

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4 Responses to Things I Don’t Understand About the British, Part 4

  1. atlases says:

    Gross.

  2. I’m afraid I’m with you. I know it makes me “very American”, but I can’t get behind most of the flavor (sorry, flavour) combos over here. On the upside, more often than not I pass on snacks and eat more nutritious foods. And when desperate, I can always rely on the traditional Sea Salt & Malt Vinegar Walkers!

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